Mission Impawsible: Living with an English Bulldog

Oh my! Where do I begin? How about from the beginning…

Meet Mr. Prince! He prefers to be called Princey-pie and sometimes I refer to him as the huge 85lb. slobber monster that just happens to live with me and terrorize… everything! He likes pina-coladas, getting caught in the rain, long walks on the beach, oh, and of course showering slobber on anyone who comes within 10ft. of his face! He also enjoys eating bacon… LOTS of bacon!

It never fails, every time I’m at the dog park and I meet another English Bull-child owner we become friends immediately! It’s as if ALL slobber machine owners have this unspoken, special connection that says “yeaaah… (sigh) I know “. Don’t get me wrong, bulldogs have many redeeming qualities! I mean, how many other dogs do you know who like to skateboard, skim board, surf and look realllllly cute while doing it?!  

These are reasons why I decided to write a survival guide for our residents living in a pet-friendly Camden apartment and/or anyone who is considering adopting one (or five) of these sweet, slobbery, roly poly children with fur.

1.)     Slobber slobber everywhere and not a drop to drink: Bulldogs. Slobber. Everywhere! Get ready! Don’t buy a bulldog if you have a problem getting showered with slobber. You can bet your gold teeth that if you own a bulldog he/she WILL slobber on you, and your friends, and your apartment furniture. It’s inevitable. Prince showers me with his slobber at least once a day! I don’t even give a 2nd thought to it anymore because I use … (drum roll please) … handy dandy baby wipes they will save your life! You can buy them for a whole $1 at your local Dollar Tree. These wipes will remove slobber off of your furniture, clothes, face and your friends face. I’ll never forget the time our very own Camden blogger and most special friend Lauren Bartz spent the night at my apartment. Prince, being a nosey, cross-dressing terrorizer decided he wanted to snoop into Laurens purse late at night and EAT her eyeliner, makeup bag and give her purse a bath with his slobber. It was a sign of affection (promise!) but the baby wipes did the trick! They also come in handy when cleaning out your Bulldogs cute lil’ wrinkles and tail.

2.)    Whoever said Bulldogs can’t swim didn’t buy a life jacket: It’s a very common misconception that Bulldogs can’t swim. Mr. Prince LOVES to swim and so do other Bulldogs; they just need HELP because they are fat! And in the famous words of Mr. Chow: “It’s funny because he’s fat!” Do you enjoy people laughing at your fat bulldog while he struggles to swim? If your answer = NO! You should buy a doggie life jacket! You can buy them for cheap just about anywhere and it works. Prince learned to swim with his life jacket on and now he is a strong enough swimmer to go without. I highly recommend buying a lifejacket and teaching your bulldog that water = friend & fun! When Prince was a puppy he slipped and fell into my dad’s backyard swimming pool, almost drowned, panicked, tried getting out on the side but kept slipping, had he not been afraid of the water and kept calm, he would have known to swim to the steps and walk out. This is the moment I decided to buy a doggie life jacket and teach him there is no reason to be afraid and haven’t looked back since.

3.)    I’m just-a-Walking the dog: Take your Bulldog pup for short walks. Some bulldogs have trouble breathing and tucker-out easily, so don’t overdo. Bulldogs are really lazy! Anything over 1 mile for a bulldog means he is dancing on the line of heat exhaustion (especially on a hot day). Once, I took Mr. Prince to Memorial Park in Houston with me to walk the 3 mile track… BAD IDEA! He made it a whole ½ mile and decided he was NOT walking any further. I had to turn around. Princess prefers a nice fresh breeze with his head hanging out of the apartment window as opposed to actually walking.

4.)    All they need is LOVE: It’s true. Bulldogs need LOTS of LOVE.  They might even require more love and attention that the average dog. Bulldogs get very attached to their owners and spending time together will help with discipline and behavior. If a prize could be awarded to dogs for “companionship” I feel confident in saying the bulldog would win.  I suggest reading 97 ways to make a Dog Smile for tips on how to build a relationship with your baby.

5.)   Splish Splash, I don’t want a bath: Bathe your Bulldog at least once a week. Bulldogs tend to shed a lot and bathing your baby regularly will help to keep the shedding down to a minimum. Bulldogs have very sensitive skin, so I recommend using Pet Head, it’s for sensitive skin, inexpensive and smells delicious! Bathing your bulldog regularly may seem like a difficult task but  if you trick him/her into the bathroom with a piece of bacon, it works every time.

Are you looking for an apartment in your area that allows slobber machines? Most Camden apartments are pet friendly (Breed restrictions may apply) and some of the communities don’t have a weight limit! If you’re looking for a beautiful apartment  give us a call locally or check out camdenliving.com. Camden apartments are located nationwide.

One thought

  1. I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

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